Puns
Three tomatoes are walking down the street, a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. The baby tomato is lagging behind the poppa and momma tomato. The poppa tomato gets mad, goes over to the momma tomato and stamps on him --
(STAMPS on the ground)
-- and says: catch up.
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There once was a very large lady in our town. She wore a dress size 16. I knew her when she was young, but she had a much smaller size.
Why do you think she is now wearing a size 16?
I guess she just 8 + 8 (ate and ate).
Submitted by David Trimingham
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A man wanting to borrow another man's newspaper asks, "Are you finishe(d)?"
The other man replies, "No, I'm Norwegian."
Submitted by Aleksander Eriksen
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I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
Submitted by Carcelli's family
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A woman was driving in her car on a narrow road. She was knitting at the same time, so she was driving very slowly.
A man came up from behind and he wanted to pass her. He opened the window and yelled, "Pull over! Pull over!"
The lady yelled back, "No, it's a sweater!"
Submitted by: Britt Bolving Hansen
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Two friends meet and one of them says:"I've taught my dog how to speak English!"
"That's impossible", says the other man."Dogs don't speak!"